Just like seeing someone be sick, that kind of makes me feel a little queezy too, seeing someone cry with such sadness makes me feel sad too. One thing I am very proud of is my sensitivity, yes it can be taken advantage of, but mostly, it more than anything makes me aware of how other people may be feeling, some people in life just go through it saying what they want, about who they want and with no consideration to thoughts and feelings. Because how I feel inside can be so intense at times, I truly believe I am more in tune with other peoples feelings, well I hope so anyway. The lady replied that she was alright, and just looked at me with a little thank you in her eyes, and I gave a little smile and went back to my bag sorting. Of course she could have been leaving loved ones behind, I suppose at train stations many a tear falls down ones cheeks, but I don't know, her crying was just so intense. I shall never know what made her cry that day. The train came, we both got on, went to different carriages, and onwards both our lives went....
So, what I began wondering is, if you felt those tears come in a public place, near strangers, people who didn't know you, would you let them fall....Sometimes tears just come ( very easily for me as it happens ) I personally think crying is a strength, and not a weakness, not a sign of a poor fractured soul, who needs to snap out of it. In my method training of acting, I could think sad thoughts and be crying before you knew it, but real life is different, the tears are real, there are real thoughts and feelings behind them. But if there was nowhere to hide and you felt the need to have a good cry there and then, would you? And let anyone who felt they wanted to, reach out to you. Also, what would you do if you saw someone cry, like I did, I guess some people just want to be left alone to cry in public and not be bothered, but for me, I just couldn't help but reach out to that young lady on the platform. Though would you look the other way, hold out a hand, want to reach out perhaps, but something holds you back?
For the record, and which may not come as a surprise, I have cried in public....
X
Hi Mary,
ReplyDeleteInteresting post my dear,i would and have cried in public i am very emotional,not a drama queen but i feel deep and i always have,i would do exactly what you did if i saw someone crying in public,in fact once at the hospital with my mum an elderly lady was laid on a trolley in reception and was crying out 'help me please' help me' with tears in her eyes and everyone was ignoring her like she was mad,i went straight over and it turned out the drip had come out of her arm under the blanket and she was in horrible pain and bleeding,after i got a nurse every face in reception was buried in a magazine or a bag pretending they hadn't heard,i don't understand why people find it hard to help someone in distress xxx
Firstly, I think what you did for that girl was very kind. So many people these days would just ignore something like that. I think I would have done the same as you as to see someone so upset is horrible to see. I'm sure she really appreciated your comfort in that moment.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I'm not really a crier but if it came to it, I'd cry wherever I was and just let it all out.
I have cried in public quite a few times, usually whilst with someone else so after cross words, or a conversation that's made me sad. I am a particularly cry-y person.
ReplyDeleteHowever your post reminded me of a day last year where I cried on a station platform just like the lady in your post. I had been to help clear things out of my Dads flat a couple of weeks after he had died. Things had been taken back to my house in the car so no room for me and I went to the train station to do the ten minute journey home.
I had held myself together all day, but at that moment, sitting on the bench waiting for the train with a bag of my dads things on my lap I crumbled. Obviously I would rather it hadn't been in public, people stared at me. Nobody offered a hand, or asked if I was ok. Just stared like I was slightly deranged. The train pulled up, I pulled myself together and managed to get home before another out pouring.
I'm not sure what it says about society that we view someone upset in public as strange, after all you wouldn't look oddly at someone laughing out loud. I'm sure your kindness helped the woman feel a bit better about what ever had made her sad, and I'd like to think in your situation I would have done the same.
I think what you did was lovely - sometimes knowing that another human being, even if you don't know them, is aware of your pain can help ease whatever is wrong.
ReplyDeleteI think what you did was lovely - particularly holding her hand as that means more than anything - but also very brave. Some people can react very badly, particularly to physical contact from a stranger, which is sad.
ReplyDelete@Sixes and Sevens - I am relieved to hear you say you are a 'cry-y person' - I am too, and often wonder if this is normal! I am comforted to know there are others so full of emotion.
Hi Mary,
ReplyDeleteWhat you did for that girl was so lovely.
I`m really emotional too and have cried in public.
The problem I have is that if someone is crying I do want to see if they are ok its just if they shrug you off then its embarrassing. I suppose if you don`t try to comfort someone then you would never know if you could have helped.
I was at the train station once and an elderly lady was getting upset because she couldn`t get a taxi so I offered to call her one on my mobile. She said I must give you some money for the phonecall and I said no no its fine, she pressed a coin into my hand and when her taxi drove off, I opened my hand it was a 2p coin. It really made me laugh!
Dx
After my mom died, I was in WalMart in the checkout line and just started crying. The cashier came out from behind the counter, put her arms around me and held me for a few seconds. That meant so much to me. I really needed it. We shouldn't be afraid to reach out to those who need comforting.
ReplyDeleteI'm really not sure what I would have done in that situation, I wouldn't want to startle anyone by getting too close but at the same time I wouldn't want to see anyone so sad on their own. Similar situation I had the other day whilst a the bus stop was a woman with a young child who kept running out into the road, at one point I felt I had to step in and stop the child as she hurtled out just as a bus was pulling in. The mother was too busy trying to 'reason' with the 2 year old child.
ReplyDeleteAww you did a lovely thing :) I'm not sure what I would have done, I'm racking my brains, to think back if I have ever come across a stranger crying, I can't think of anyone...
ReplyDeleteI cry easily, but I have mostly been with someone if it is public. There was an awful time at work though, when my colleague had screamed at me and said some awful things about me one Friday afternoon, and i had cried straight through to Saturday. In that time I had, had to walk into town,and wait at a busy bus stop. Two ladies there, one I recognised that caught my bus every day, and a complete stranger, both asked if I was okay. It was very sweet, and I appreciated it, but I just told them I was fine, what can you do without going into a huge long complex story. It was totally appreciated though :)
I can say for sure, whatever was the reason that this girl was crying, she was lucky to have been beside someone as sweet, thoughtful and nice like you. Even to just ask if she was alright.
ReplyDeletexx
I think what you did was lovely, unfortunately not many people have the courage to reach out through fear of a negative reaction.
ReplyDeleteI have done the same, offered a tissue and a gentle check whether the person was ok or not. Generally people say they are fine, even when they are clearly not.
I have cried in public and tried desperately to hide it. The few times other people have noticed, I've been looked at as if I've lost the plot and should be avoided. I do think it's sad that distress is seen as something to ignore or to feel uncomfortable about for whatever reason, it's a natural feeling and something we've all experienced at some time or another. We can't always help the place we are in when the tears fall.
Oh yes, I sob all over the place. The worst place is Atlanta airport when I'm saying goodbye to hubbie for another 5 months. I am inconsolable. Doesn't help that there is a 'play it again Sam' pianist there. Now, I only need to see that guy and I'm off!!! As soon as he starts playing, I start crying.
ReplyDeleteI think it's lovely that you consoled that lady. I hope someone does that to me one day when I start!
Like you, I believe in tears. I've noticed that more men are doing it these days and that is a good thing. No point in bottling up your emotions. It only makes it worse later on.
I managed to hold it together when I saw my grandad in hospital but burst out crying in the corridor. The nurse and my cousins were very good. It was the last time I saw him and he died shortly after. So a sad but good thing I got to see him.
ReplyDeleteThe other time was at East Midlands airport as my husband and I said bye to our daughther for our first week away without her.
At least you made the lady feel less alone.
Your reaction was just lovely. For the record I woud have done exactly the same in your shoes. I have cried in public, several times and thankfully there have always been kind and lovely folk around me.
ReplyDeletetwiggy x
Hi Mary
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely thing you did. If I'd have been in your situation I'd like to think I'd check the lady was okay. I have done that in the past. I am also a big softy and cry in public too. Both on my own and with other people. One of my best friends died when he was 22 (long story won't explain) and they played a song at his funeral and every time I here it no matter where I am I burst into tears and that was 15 years ago. It's also it's been 3 years ago today since my Mother In-Law died of cancer (bless her). Had a couple of cry's about that today. I which more people where like you Mary rather than ignoring someone who needs or help. Jenny xx
Fiirstly, big hug for offering a hand out....
ReplyDeleteI cried outside a hospital room when my Grandma was dying, nobody stopped & i can still feel that 19 year old, confused, frightened self - I think it made me the nurse I now am.
So yes, I stop, how couls I not? & I also smile when I catch peoples eyes...
I cry after a tough day - usually to something weepy on the TV, it lets it all out. & Occaisionally I find my self tearing up at work, but never let go, as wouldnt be appropriate, but I know people can see its cause I'm there with them in that brief moment.
Lovely post hun.
Lx
WHat you did was lovely. I cry very easily and I just can't stop myself and whilst I'd prefer to have done it where no one else can see, I've appreciated it when people have asked if I'm ok, even if I just say to them, "Yes I'm fine," (even if I've not). So I am sure that you are appreciated in every situation you have done this. I've often asked if others are ok but I think the hand hold was a kind and considerate thought (I'd be scared that someone might react badly towards me but I'd consider it now afte reading this)
ReplyDeleteFirst, big Bears don't cry.
ReplyDeleteSecond, it is never the wrong time to do the right thing. You were wonderful. Too bad a Bear's intentions might be mistaken.
I am another that cries in public at times. My son was in hospital for 10 weeks and I had to visit him on the bus, some days it was all too much and I'd cry. I lost count of the number of people who would put their hand on my shoulder or ask if I was alright.
ReplyDeleteWhat is really sweet is my son is now 2 and delightfully emapthetic. One day at an airport a young lady was crying. Joseph was only 20 months and not walking, he crawled over, pulled himself to stand on her legs, put his little arms around her best he could and said "sowwy, lady cwying"
It was just so sweet, and she stopped crying, looked down and smiled!
I too think crying is a show of strength, and of truth, its a pure thing and a brave thing.
Thank you so much for your feedback, I had to get a tissue on a couple of occasions I have to say ;) Slowly getting round to say hello and thank you on your blogs xx
ReplyDeletehhmm interesting question. I am not much of a crier (well unless I see a sad film) so it takes a lot of set me off really - sometimes I feel close to crying but it doesn't come out. I know for a fact I would have done the same for you if I saw someone crying though as I do that a lot at work, it is amazing how much holding someones hand can help :-) x
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post! And what a wonderful blog. I'm so pleased I have found it! Lucie x
ReplyDeleteBless you for reaching out to her.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about feeling emotions so intently, I'm the same and other people's emotions really affect me.
Having said that, I do my damnedest not to cry in public. I have done in the past, but only when having a panic attack or similar. I just hate crying in front of anyone at all, I bottle it up (unhealthy as that is) and then have my emotional breakdowns on my own time!