Waves, Step's Back In!

Well, hello lovelies!! I'm so sorry, I certainly seem to have be been AWOL for quite a while there haven't I!? Lets call it a blogging break, holiday, hiatus....oh ok, I'll admit it, the blogging mojo upped and went, closed the door behind and I thought it was never to return. Well as life has it, the mojo has decided to re-appear and I seem to have found my love of blogging all over again and look forward to posting little snippets from my life, and of course my many bargain shopping hauls!! I think we should start with some pretty pictures to get the ball back 'o rolling don't you?

I recently found some quote postcards in the sales for 20p and so I bought many different ones, I enjoy placing them around the home to help motivate and inspire me when I walk in to one of the rooms. 

And of course I'm still loving all things pink and floral! Whilst they were in season, I made frequent Aldi trips every week to stock up on my peony bargains. 

Now the peonies seem out of season, it's back to my trusty roses!

I really don't think the pink will ever leave me!

 When I thought the time had come after many months, no possibly years of pondering over whether to get a pair of the Saltwater sandals, it HAD to be the fuchsia hot pink for my colour of choice. I always thought this particular style of sandal would make me look about 6 years old wearing them, but after hearing so many reviews on how comfy they are I just had to go for it. They are indeed so, so comfy. Having narrow feet, they are possibly a little wider on me than my usual shoe/sandal, but after a few wears (including a paddle or two in the sea) are moulding to my feet much better.  

I'm always still up for a bargain, and having a sweet tooth, I couldn't leave this delicious birthday cake behind for only £2.50!! It was scrumptious and so pretty to look at. It was no-ones birthday in our house, but it certainly felt like it eating it! 

My love of up-cycling is increasing as the days are getting warmer/longer and I have plenty of painting time. A lovely friend has been updating her kitchen dinner into the kitchen of (my) dreams and she has so kindly given me her unwanted farmhouse kitchen table and solid wood chairs for me to makeover. I can't wait to get going and although I've only got as far as giving the chairs a quick rub down and clean, have had a good think about the makeover and I can't wait to get cracking! I was hoping to try out the Aldi chalk paint, but think its a quick seller so haven't managed to get some yet. I do like my Annie Sloan paint but my purse certainly doesn't ;) I shall be re-doing all the seat pads, and fancy something very pretty so shall be digging out my fave Cath Kidston fabrics.

Talking of Aldi, I've managed to find some great bargains from there recently, that middle isle is like an Aladdin's cave of delights sometimes. I'll share my finds  with you on my next post! 

So I've quietly crept back in, and its just been my 9th blog-anniversary, think I'll have to sort out a little giveaway for you guys!! Until then, I'll leave you with a little pic of Master Poppins taken by  the very talented Whitrigg Photography He who was about 2 years old when I started this blog, and now.......he's off to secondary school. How did that happen, time is just flying by...

X

A Winner, & Christmas Thoughts

Well we have a winner for the lovely Tassimo Coffee machine...

Thanks so much to everyone for joining in, I really did enjoy reading all your comments and would dearly loved you all to have won!

So comment 15 was drawn randomly and the winner is....

Sonia at This Mummy Loves Well done Sonia, your shiny new coffee machine shall be on your way to you asap. Enjoy and a lovely early Christmas present for you :)
I couldn't help but think of Christmas these past couple of days as I spied my little Master P doing his stuff for The Little White Company I just love this Christmas inspired photograph of him....

And not long after I saw this, my lovely friend over at Strawberry Lemonade Boutique was walking past a White Company store in Winchester due to be opened next week and sent me this photograph of the window display....

Awww. So seeing these is helping to get me in the Christmas mood and it shall soon (ish) be time to dec the halls....

X

Precious

When it comes to favourite baby photographs of our little Master Poppins, there is only one photograph that I am always reminded of. It was taken at a very emotional time. With him having been born 11 weeks early, and myself being asleep for his birth which was via an emergency caesarean, it wasn't exactly a 'normal' pregnancy and birth. I really didn't know when I signed those papers to agree to the section that I would see my son alive. I awoke to the face of my husband telling me he was here, safe, and although being ventilated, was downstairs in the SCBU unit being looked after by the wonderful team of doctors and nurses. I cried many a tear of relief after hearing the news and couldn't wait to meet him, my precious and much longed for son. Even now, 6 years later I can't believe I have this little man in my life and his arrival was so much the more poignant having lost his special big, brave brother only 14 months earlier, when he was born so very prematurely himself at nearly 26 weeks gestation.

Master Poppins weighed 3lbs 1oz, was a little fighter and soon he was off the ventilator and coping well. All in all he was in hospital for over 40 days. I used to take my milk in everyday to feed him, like a protective bird feeding her poorly chick. When they finally told me, when he was nearly 5lbs in weight that we could take our little chick home I don't think I could believe it. Only the year before I had had to leave my first little son in hospital, never to come home. The pain of leaving with your baby not in your arms, knowing you shall never see them grow up never leaves you, and walking through those hospital doors without my son is a memory etched in my mind forever. I must have been the happiest woman on the earth when, at last I was told Master Poppins could come home, his beautiful big sister finally had her wish of a younger sibling to love and help mummy look after.

The extra poignancy of this photograph I took of him when he first came home from hospital, is that only days later I thought we had lost him. He suffered an ALTE and it truly gives me the shivers just thinking about it. He stopped breathing, went limp like a rag doll, and went the most awful grey colour. My wonderful, wonderful husband took over and helped bring him back to us. I shall be eternally grateful to him for coping the way he did in that situation when I just went into panic mode. The ambulance turned up, blue lights flashing and after a short spell in hospital was back home with us again. Something like that never leaves you and even now, as a big strong 6 year old, I often find myself having a little check on him in bed. So here is my most favourite photograph of Master Poppins, one that is truly treasured....

Over protective is probably an understatement when it comes to how I feel about Master Poppins, and I am not ashamed or embarrassed that I feel this way. I know he shall have to be let loose of my apron strings one day and when that day comes I shall wave him off proudly and thankful that he was given to me. He is of course not mine to keep but must make his own way in life. These short years I have him at home I shall indeed enjoy and relish the cuddles, the connection we have, the relationships he has with his sister and daddy.

And when the time comes for him to leave home and make his own footsteps in life I shall look at this precious photograph of him and smile....

X

Happy Birthday To A Special Boy....

I am so proud of you every day,
You make me happy in every way,
Yes, you can be a little scamp,
But mummy knows you are a real champ.

Born so early, and so very small,
I just couldn't imagine you being this tall,
A big boy now, 5 years old,
Your personality, so big and bold.

I love you more than words can say,
I thank God you are with me every day,
You are a wonderful, son, and super brother,
I truly am the luckiest mother.

So, here you are, oh birthday boy,
Having fun playing with your newest toy,
You make me smile, laugh, and cheer,
Never wanting to let you go, always wanting you near.

I Know one day I shall have to cut those strings,
And watch you deal with life, all that it brings,
Though, five, fifteen, twenty five, or fifty,
You shall always be mummy's special baby....

By Your Mummy.

Happy Birthday sweetheart, we all love you so very much.

xxxxx

Emotions....

Sometimes when you have thoughts and feelings trying to escape, you just have to let them run free.

I don't know what it is.... maybe it is the film Marley & Me that I watched last night that's making me a little emotional. Though I think it is perhaps the thoughts of Master Poppins having to stay on in reception just a little longer next term. I just think of him queing up in the reception line again and being his Mummy, it just makes me a little emotional. I am so lucky to have him here, 11 weeks early, and a long time in hospital when he was born. He is still only 4, and a young one at that....

Maybe it is my fault, I do mollycoddle him, I can't help it, my love for him is just so intense I cannot even put it into words. I know it is just going to be for a term, maybe a little longer, and I of course know it shall be in his best interests, he shall have double the friends, and he shall catch up, but I can't help get a little emotional about it.

I am so proud of how far he has come....

His quirky sense of style and personality is just adorable....

More than anything in the world I am proud of his achievements, but the achievement I am most proud of, is his fighting for his own life. He is my little fighter, who was resuscitated 3 times at birth and went from strength to strength. I should probably be more concerned with his schooling, his academic progress, his grades, but I am just happy he is here, that he is a socially happy and healthy little boy. Shouldn't that be enough. Miss Poppins sails through school, is on the YGT register, loves to learn, enjoys school and although I don't want to map her life out, I know she shall do well in anything she does, and I am so proud of her, I really don't know where she gets her brains from. Master P however I feel shall have to work that little bit harder. I guess what I am waking up to, is that you can actually have two children born of the same parents and who are, and can be, quite very different in many aspects. We just have to go with it, and adapt to their differing needs.

So, he SHALL be alright, he won't be made fun of, and I think, maybe just maybe, I shall be alright too....

Thanks for listening

X

Getting Nervous....

In 2006 Master Poppins, who you may know was born prematurely was having a routine heart scan due to a PDA  He was three months old. The PDA which can be quite common in premature babies, looked like it was closing on its own and we were all thinking this would just be a quick scan, all is well, special tea to celebrate. Even though he was three months old he weighed less than a newborn, was so very little and of course I crossed my fingers all would be well. The expert cardiologist began his ultra sound of his heart and I did my very best to work out what I could see on the screen. It was pitch black in the room, although there were lovely twinkling lights above Master Poppins who was very well behaved. It was quiet, the cardiologist  was concentrating. Then I noticed him frown, the mood changed, he called one or two other specialists in, with me not knowing what was going on. Luckliy I had both my husband and my mum with me. The specialists talked, confirming with each other what were seeing on the screen and then looked to me. They had found a completely incidental, and unrelated to his prematurity, heart defect in my son....

I have to be honest and the rest of the day was bit of a blur....we were ushered into a room where a BHF nurse chatted to us, explained what the heart condition was, handed us leaflets and explained that it was imperative my son was treated if not that day, then very very soon. They had found a severe case of Pulmonary Stenosis and we were told it could be treated by a relatively simple procedure explained here So no open heart surgery. We were given a date to come back, was the same week, and he would be admitted onto the cardiac ward at the children's hospital, I could of course stay with him.

So here he is, at three and a half months, not looking very happy at all in his hospital gown about to go down to theatre. Daddy was doing his very best to calm his crying....

He soon calmed a little.... I was actually quite calm, considering, and just like most parents would feel I imagine when their own children go into theatre, you can't wait for the time they wake up, safe, well, and you are told everything went to plan. We were allowed to carry him into the room where the lovely anesthetist met us, and by then Master Poppins had fallen asleep anyway so we just left him sleeping naturally and before they put the mask on....alright one or two tears were shed from both of us as we made our way back upto his room to watch rubbish daytime television to almost take our mind off what was going on downstairs. About 2 hours later were were told he was alright, bit groggy but all had indeed gone well, big relief all round.

Since that day he has had 2 further follow up scans, and so far so good. He is as fit as the next four year old, though of course deep down I am always aware. We were since told it was a severe case, and although is something I don't dwell on, I know that if my son hadn't been born so very early, with that PDA, that required a check up scan, his heart defect wouldn't have been found so very soon, and he may well not be with us now. All those who love and cherish him, his wonderful big sister, realise, although he is possibly one of the most cheekiest monkeys, he is a very special one. So the time has come in a few months and shall be 3 years without a scan, for him to have one, and I am getting nervous. I can feel it already. We have been told he may require another procedure in the future, but we shan't know more until this next scan. I am happy in the fact we have had no symptoms at all, and he really can run as well, if not faster than many of his little friends on the playing fields, but is natural to worry about ones children isn't it. So I can just be positive and pray everything is fine.

If like me you have been in the position of taking your child into theatre for an operation or procedure, that nervous wait during, the hopefully big relief afterwards when you are told all has gone well, then may I offer you a hug. Is quite an emotional experience.

X

Love Hate Time Of Year....

Do you ever have that newborn tiredness feeling....

I call it newborn as it feels like the tiredness I felt when having a newborn baby at home. A little out of sorts, clumsy, snappy, maybe even a little teary. Well I am that tired.

I love what this time of year brings with it. Lovely family birthdays and wedding anniversaries. I love, love the beautiful and moving scenery the autumn brings, I love Christmas, I love snow on the ground and jingle bells in the back ground.

But, sometimes I really do not like this time of year, and wish for the sunshine, the spring. I do not like what this time of year does to my precious Master Poppins. The clocks going back or is it forward ( I can never remember , blame the tiredness )  that cold snap coming in, hats and scarves. What this time of year does, is make my Master P one very poorly little boy. Yet again another 4am visit to hospital, with his chest.

You may know he was born 11 weeks early, weighting 3lbs 1oz, he was ventilated ( albeit for a very short 8 or so hours ) and so rightly or wrongly I often wonder whether his prematurity, makes him a little weaker at this time of year.

After waking up after being put to sleep for my cesarean, I was handed a polaroid photograph of my baby, the very first time I saw him, hours after he had been born and all I had to prove that thank goodness he was born alive.  I thank the lord every day he was sent for me to keep. This slightly out of focus shot that one of the nurses took of him, is possibly one of my treasured things. This is how I saw my baby for the very first time.

 So normally a photograph of pretties, is now a photograph that looks more like a medicine cabinet.

I wonder if maybe as he grows bigger, he shall also grow stronger. I hope so. Do your little ones cope well health wise at this time of year. Maybe it is not Master P's prematurity at all, maybe it is just him. How he is made up, but I so wish one year we could see this time of year through, without any hospital visits. He copes so well, bless him....

Hopefully whilst he sleeps, he is getting better, the only time he doesn't cough is when those sweet blue eyes of his are resting....

As for me, I shall aim to catch 40 winks....probably even now ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ;0)

X