Her is my son, many a tear rolled down my cheek when he was in hospital from being born so prematurely, and there were real times when I thought I would never be bringing him home with us....
Daddy's first cuddle....
Mummy's first cuddle....
I wished so very hard that Miss. Poppins would this time, get her own special wish and indeed bring a very much wanted little brother home to play and squabble with....
Friends and family came to say hello to him, and would say he was the smallest baby they had ever held....
Daddy was so much more confident holding him than I was....
Miss. Poppins celebrated her first day at school whilst he was in hospital. I can't believe she is only 4 years old in this photograph, she is now 8 and looks so much older, well apparently they do grow up don't they....
Well our wishes came true and we brought him home. Here he is on his first night with us at home, his 42nd day of life....
He grew bigger day by day, I loved taking photographs of him when he was asleep and kept having to pinch myself that he was really here, safe and well and home....
I was kind of getting used to having him around when after 2 weeks of him being home with us my life changed I think forever, and my fear of loosing him began, and is here to this day....
He suffered what is sometimes known as a blue do, or technically an ALTE, apparent life threatening episode. He went blue, then grey, and stopped breathing. I screamed. We couldn't find any of our two telephones to ring for an ambulance, so I ran to a neighbours to use theirs. One of the reasons I think why I love my new old fashioned telephone so much, I ALWAYS know where it is. Whilst I was telephoning an ambulance in my lovely neighbours home, my husband brought him back to life and all this when he wasn't yet 5lbs in weight.
After a little journey to hospital in the ambulance, where I think I needed more oxygen than my baby, and some hours in hospital, it was explained to me that these episodes can be quite common in premature babies. I also found out that there are different grades to these episodes, sometimes the babies go blue, then grey, then sadly white, not good. Master Poppins had definitely left the blue stage, he was a horrible, horrible grey. So, I thank God with all my heart, and my husband, that he was brought back to be with us. Thinking back, both myself and my husband thought we had lost him.
It took me a long, long while to trust myself again to look at him happily sleeping in his little crib, truthfully maybe months. Something I so enjoyed doing when he first came home with us. I think a mother could watch her little baby sleeping forever, I know I could, and yet here I was at war with the world because I felt that a beautiful pleasure had been cruelly snatched away from me. Even though we had one of the special alarmed mats, I kept seeing the image of him, like a rag doll, and all I could imagine was seeing him like that again if I peered over to gaze at him. I am so grateful to my family and friends who helped me learn to accept that yes it may happen again, but it probably wouldn't and to enjoy the time spent with him. So, I slowly bonded with him and the blue do episode became a distant, yet painful memory.
His Christening was a lovely, special, moving day. All dressed up in his posh outfit. He even had little silk bows on his socks :)
And here he is, a proper little boy, who yes, drives me nuts sometimes :)
So you see, sometimes, posting about all the frilly stuff seems a little silly and unimportant to me, though I do so enjoy sharing with you all my crafty, thrifty stuff, sometimes, sometimes I like to share with you a little of the real life stuff too....
X
